The Forming of Our Circle of Angels and Prisoners Advocating for Gay & Lesbian Equality

I have been working very hard to form Our Circle of Angels (OCA) and Prisoners Advocating for Gay and Lesbian Equality (PAGLE). I would like to give back to the community. The thing is all I can use from in here is my mind and networking skills. The real Angels are the people that believe in my vision and donate their time to my dreams and causes.

I used to live a life that was all about being as comfortable as possible while in prison. This place is a daily hell so all I wanted to do is get by as best as I could. For many years I engaged in sports, played games and went to school to pass the time. It was not that I didn’t care about the outside world. I just felt like there was no way I could make a difference. I felt like I was dead to the world and no one would want to hear from me. I spent the first seven years writing only occasional letters to family. I wanted to forget the world.

This became my purgatory the outside world was the furthest thing from my mind. The reality of my sentence is that I will never walk out of here. It’s a harsh reality for a teenage boy to deal with but one I accepted as I settled into this new environment.

OUR CILCLE OF ANGELS (O.C.A.)

I had always had a heart that wanted to do something to give back to the community I had taken so much from. I watched nightly news plagued with violence and negative images. I realized I had skills that could possibly make a difference and felt a need to take action. I did some soul searching and talked to many other inmates about how they ended up where they are.

Similar patterns emerged, distorted thinking, social influences, self esteem issues. I can’t change society but I can create programs that focus on some dealing with some of the issues that run through many inmates lives. Circle of Angels is formulated to help the individual Think their way through life and identify negative thought patterns, teaching proactive verses reactive behavior. In school children are taught reading writing and math but not how to deal with their thoughts and feelings. After my Dad died and my Mothers were killed I was lost. My influences were rap, violent movies all the negative things society has to offer, that was what J was drawn to. I made my own poor choices and I take responsibility for them. Now I’d like to help the next vulnerable at-risk child to make better choices.

The programs occur over time in many sessions. The goal is to help the youth identify the negative influences social and media related. Once identified they can choose how much sway they allow them to have over their decision making process. I want the programs to help build independent thought and the ability to recognize thinking patterns and what influences them. Daily in prison I see men who can recite every lyric of a rap song that promotes violence. It becomes like a mantra instead of promoting peaceful productive feeling it promotes negative ones. These men are programming themselves to be the thugs they idolize. This is responsible for the birth of Our Circle of Angels.

As a work in progress I’m looking for a person that shares my vision, one that could step up and run with it. I have the paper work done to make it a full non-profit corporation. Also I have people and programs that will dedicate their time and resources to OCA. It will take very little funding to run, which was a goal because I’m not out there to help.

PRISONERS ADVOCATING FOR GAY AND LESBIAN EQUALITY (P.A.G.L.E.)

As I was building OCA, I met a man named Christian. Hearing his story I realized that I could make a difference inside prison also. Many men are victimized and preyed upon in prison. Trying to step up and help means being chastised for caring, even some of the officers degrade gay men. So along with Christian Prisoners Advocating for Gay and Lesbians Equality was formed. PAGLE grew much faster than OCA because there are organizations that help at-risk gay youth. No such group exists to help LGBT prisoners. I’ve been writing letters and talking to people and the response is very optimistic but slow to grant help. I think they’re in a wait and see mode. Are they just humoring me to see if I can pull this off I’m determined to give a voice to the voiceless in prison.

I have been in contact with people in New York and out at U of M so that encourages me. Also out FaceBook is growing and I continue to send out letters. The stigma of prison is something I have to battle daily when I interact with the outside world. I enjoy changing minds as people get to know me. I’m excited about the Between the Lines article about the plight of the LGBT behind bars.

Some have asked if I’ve been harassed in here because of this project? It is a new place for me and there are not many I can talk about it with. There are the ones that think any form of sympathy or compassion for others is a sign of weakness. There are those that are too afraid to share their stories because of staff retaliation and thought it best to stay quite. Many of the staff are hateful people so I respect the inmates right to suffer in silence.

Many of the people I associate with can’t understand why I would care or dare to speak up for “these people”. Though I’m not gay “these people” are my Family by proxy for my Mothers and Father and the gay community in Seattle that supported me when I lost my Dad as well as the LGBT community in Michigan that supports me. Moreover as brothers in the Human community, how can I not speak up and provide support for those in need.

I sometimes feel isolated I’m not a member of the LGBT community nor do I fit neatly into the straight community. With these projects I would like to feel that I am contributing making a difference replacing anger and loss with hope and redemption.

Thanks for listening to me ramble I’d love to get questions or topics to blog about.

For more information:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Our-Circle-of-Angels/187797204584996

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Prisoners-Advocating-for-Gay-Lesbian-Equality/194880103875443